How To Turn Your Brain Into A Judgement Free Zone
The mental detox we all need to do. With so much emphasis on physical wellbeing it’s easy to overlook mental wellness in the quest for being our best selves. We all know about clean living, but what about clean thinking?
The Irislillian.com team were discussing the best ways to head-cleanse and stumbled upon a taboo mental habit that almost every one of us needs to break: judgy-ness.
Just quietly, how many times have you passed judgement on someone today? Either to yourself or to a co-conspirator? The barista, that driver, her outfit, his Insta…
Don’t worry, no judgement! Most of us are generating a running commentary on the people we encounter every day. But we are oblivious to the impact it’s having on our own wellbeing and usually, we are blissfully unaware we are doing it all.
Most of us are generating a running commentary on the people we encounter every day. But we are oblivious to the impact it’s having on our own wellbeing and usually, we are blissfully unaware we are doing it all.
A judgemental thought is just that: a subjective thought; a mental burp bringing up something from our own archive of fears and insecurities. The trouble is, we often allow ourselves to believe it. And, while it can feel deceptively empowering to have a judgy thought about someone, each of these thoughts obscures our own empathy. We all know exactly how it feels to be judged. We all know when we judge someone that we are really judging ourselves. The more layers of casual criticism we put between ourselves and others the more we distance ourselves from that sacred human sameness. And the harsher and more disconnected our world becomes.
When we judge others, the only thing we are really doing is making the world a generally more critical place. Which increases the likelihood of you, yourself being judged.
We need a circuit breaker. Both for individual wellness and for life itself. Because, really, isn’t the world tough enough without us all walking around passing judgement?
What Is It?
A judgy-thought detox amounts to short, conscious breaks from our own streams of mental, knee-jerk judgements about other people.
Why Do It?
Firstly, it lessens the number of wasted and negative thoughts running through your mind (the key to mental wellness!) and replaces destructive mental noise with a moment of clear space. And clear mind-space makes room for more inspired, constructive thoughts to arise.
Secondly, it fosters compassion and a sense of unity. Both of which are necessary for happiness (and antidotes to loneliness). Just ask the Dalai Lama!
Who Has To Know?
You can do a secret detox and tell no one. Or you can take it up several notches by enrolling a bestie or two.
When Do I Do This?
- On the way to work
- In a queue
- During social media scrolls
- Watching TV
- At lunch
- Any time at all
It’s simple… and, also, very difficult (as all good detoxes are):
- Choose a specific time to practice so you can be particularly mindful of your thoughts during that period, e.g. while on the train or watching the news.
- As soon as you notice yourself starting to form a passing judgement about somebody, stop yourself. If need be, physically look away, click out, put your headphones on or switch stations.
- Resist the temptation to replace the judgement with another thought, just be openfor a moment and move on.
Some helpful hints:
- Opt out of celebrity stuff. Replace it with something that nourishes a better part of yourself.
- Unfollow or hide online feeds that feed your beast; or better still, follow a few new inspirational accounts that directly challenge your internal critic’s favourite fodder.
- Single? Try swiping left without applying any mental labels to the definite NO’s. Being consciously non-judgemental whilst using online dating apps is surely one of the most advanced judgy-thought detox practices you can do.
- NEVER EXPECT 100% — we’ve all been conditioned to be judge and jury about the world around us. Feel good about taking the world as it comes and putting less judgy thoughts into the universe, even if a few slip through now and then.
Easy does it.
Are you up for the challenge? If you are going to try it out, let us know how you go in the comments below!