Sex drive, horniness, libido.
No matter what you call it, we all have it. Sometimes, however, the intensity of our libidos can ebb and flow.
Your libido determines whether or not you want to get intimate with your significant other (or yourself). It is what makes us feel sensual as women and it can directly impact our vaginal wetness and mood. So naturally, we notice when it’s low.
Libidos wane during our menstrual cycle or if we are on hormonal contraception, such as The Pill (somewhat ironic!). When next tracking your menstrual cycle, you may notice you feel energetic and powerful during your fertile period (usually in week three), and sad and introverted in the days prior to your bleed. This is completely natural and something we should all lean into as women. I try not to commit to social events during that latter week. This makes me feel connected and aware of my own body and mind.
If you have found you are not feeling as sexual as you used to, and there are no significant health reasons why this may be, there are ways you can boost your libido through food, movement and thought.
Before you embark on any of the following, my one piece of overarching advice is to be kind to yourself during this process. These things take time and you won’t notice an increased libido overnight. Look inside yourself and listen to your body. You are feeling a certain way for a reason and there is no ‘wrong’ way to feel.
Ever notice how you feel your best when you eat fresh, seasonal produce and stay off the wine? It isn’t an accident. Drinking three litres of water a day and eating vegetables, fruit and free-range meat gives our bodies the nutrients that help us to function at peak performance.
Minimising dairy, refined sugars and artificial sweeteners reduces bloating, which can impact on how sexy we feel throughout the day. No one feels ready to make a move when they have got a gassy tummy!
But what about these so-called ‘aphrodisiac’ foods, you may ask?
Oysters and stone fruit are often mistakenly described as aphrodisiacs because of the sensual nature in which we eat them. Slurping an oyster from its shell or biting into a fleshy peach imitate acts performed during sex.
Oysters and stone fruit are often mistakenly described as aphrodisiacs because of the sensual nature in which we eat them.
However, there are some ingredients worth keeping in your pantry for when you are en route to the bedroom.
Watermelon is a good fruit to eat with your lover. It contains citrulline, which relaxes the body and blood vessels, putting you in a zen-like mood and allowing you to be aroused quicker. Walnuts contain amino acid and arginine (nitric oxide), which also directs blood flow through relaxed vessels and increases circulation. And if you need yet another excuse to keep dark chocolate in your cupboard then remember this: a good quality 80 per cent Lindt chocolate contains magnesium, which will relax your muscles and produce serotonin, boosting your mood and reducing those feelings of stress that are linked to causing low libido in the first place.
Nothing reduces stress better than exercise, and a good work-out can also boost your libido. Regular core and Kegel exercises help you to be aware of your intimate area, which in turn keeps sex at the top of your mind. With much of our sensuality and sex drive being a mental, rather than physical state, this is an easy way to boost your libido.
Another way to rev your sex drive is to be in your best physical shape. We all know life is busy. Babies, work, family and life responsibilities can get in the way of regular exercise. However, finding 30 minutes each day, be it a gentle walk or a dance class, to get moving, will increase your stamina in the bedroom.
The best libido-enhancer is good sex. Once you raise your libido and get your groove back just a little, enjoy some great sex with your lover (or yourself!) and let the experience snowball.
The best libido-enhancer is good sex.
Repeat after me: “I am a strong, soft, desirable woman.” How does this make you feel? Pinning a mantra like this inside your wardrobe door or on your bathroom mirror and repeating it daily will transform your behaviour by changing your thoughts into true feelings. Once you believe it, you will be it.
Take your mantra to the next level by putting on your best lingerie, some sexy tunes, and dancing in-front of the mirror. I guarantee you will feel embarrassed at first. But look directly into your reflection and take in your body, appreciating each and every curve. Lightly draw your fingers across your skin. Close your eyes and soften into the music. Fifteen minutes of sexy dancing in front of a mirror is a sure-fire way to get in the mood!
If this advice doesn’t work for you, speak with your doctor about medications which may assist in balancing your hormones and boosting your libido. And enjoy – the pleasure is all yours.